Handicap Placards and Spaces

Handicap Placards and Spaces 

Handicap placards. Not all spoonies have them, but many - likely a majority - do. But with that placard, that handy little blue parking space that becomes so crucially important to us especially on harder days, comes a lot of myths and expectations from the able bodied world.

People expect those with handicapped placards to look a certain way, or perhaps walk a certain way. They expect them to be in a wheelchair, or have a cane or crutches, or to use a walker, or perhaps to limp or waddle. They expect them more often than not to be older. So when they're confronted with someone who may be younger and who may do none of these things, they instantly assume that you're using a parent or grandparent's placard illegally.

I've seen links circulating on places like Twitter and Facebook about people that have had notes left on their car or people that have been told off for parking in a handicap spot with their own placard because this person didn't fit that angry person's expectation of a disabled individual.

So, if you're an able-bodied individual reading this post, I urge you to read on with your eyes and mind wide open. Because this is something you really need to understand.

There are many, many people out there with handicap placards that appear perfectly healthy. They don't often use assistance devices, though sometimes they may. They don't always limp, though again, sometimes, they may. From the outside, they may look to be just fine and dandy, perfectly able-bodied, and they may seem like they have absolutely no business having that handicap placard that's hanging off of their mirror.

However, that does not mean they are using someone else's placard. That does not mean that this person is an able-bodied individual. That does not mean that they should park in an abled space. For people such as myself, those extra feet between a disabled and abled space can mean the difference between getting everything on a shopping list and skipping the majority and getting only the bare necessities because of the extra walking. This isn't hyperbole. Those few feet make that much of a difference. We don't park in those spots because we're lazy. We don't park there because it's fun, or because we want attention. We park there because we have to. Because we need to. Because if we don't, the next time we go to that store, our shopping list may wind up being twice as long, or we may have to have to ask a friend or family member to go to the store for us to fetch the items we were too exhausted or in too much pain to get for ourselves. Can you imagine, just for a second, what that's like?

"Hello, Jan? I went to the store earlier today, but I just couldn't manage to finish up my list, would you mind picking up six or seven things for me after you get off of work before you go home to your own family/homework/other long list of responsibilities?"

It's never a good feeling to ask someone who you know is tired, themselves, from a long day at work, who has an evening of housework or familial responsibilities or what have you waiting at home for you, to stop at the store that you were just at to get things you couldn't manage to get. You feel so guilty, you feel like you're imposing, you feel like you're being lazy, and you feel so  indebted in ways you know you likely won't get a chance to repay.

It's possible that you may have one or two people that understand what you're going through who would be willing - I say willing there, not necessarily happy, haha - to go that extra mile for you. But for many, that isn't the case. Many spoonies have no choice but to do it all themselves because they are the only people they can count on, because no one else in their circle of friends and in their family gets what they're going through, and nobody understands the fatigue and the pain.

So, in conclusion of that train of thought... those few feet.. can make such an incredible difference in the life of those people. It can make the difference between completing a shopping trip, and feeling like a failure. I know the times I have to call it quits early on a shopping list, I feel like I failed. Like I let my conditions beat me. Logically, I know I shouldn't feel that way, that it's counter-productive. But I do, and I can't help it. I know there are others that feel this way, too.

To those of you out there who are able-bodied and park in handicapped spaces just to be lazy:

Re-read this post. Think it over a minute. Then take a minute to put yourself in the shoes of a spoonie. Think of yourself in a totally exhausted state. I mean ain't-slept-in-days sort of exhausted. Then throw pain in on top of it. Anywhere you please, it's different for everyone. For me, it's my knees, my hips, and my lower back most prominently. Yep, everywhere that sucks the most for walking and standing. My neck and head, too, thanks to my Chiari malformation. So, imagine the tiredness, and then this on top of it:

I have a near constant feeling of aching pressure in the base of my skull that radiates as tension down my neck and into my traps. My back muscles are almost always in knots in spite of being on muscle relaxers, though the lower back is worst for this, and I get random, sharp-shooting pain in my thoracic spine that radiates into my shoulders and arms thanks to degenerative discs, and a firey, electric sort of pain into my behind and down my legs at random called sciatica when my lower back spasms. My hips feel like the sockets of the joints are being ground against with a dull blade every time I take a step, with the occasional stab if I turn funny, and my knees are, no matter how I sit, stand, lay, or walk, in a constant state of aching that never goes away. Prolonged walking and standing makes this aching escalate into a nauseating throbbing, and when I finally sit, it turns into hot pins and needles as the swelling in my knees cuts off circulation from said position change.

This is just on an average day. This isn't even a bad day for me. So I want you to think about that, try to imagine that, and then think about putting someone through that much pain just so you can save yourself a few feet for convenience. For laziness. I save those few feet to save myself from agony, from further exhaustion. I'm not trying to be sanctimonious here, but handicapped spaces are there for the people that NEED them. And we do! There are so, so, SO many people out there worse off than I am! In worse pain, in worse states, that your parking in that spot could potentially even endanger their lives.

So please, able-bodied person, don't park in a handicapped spot, even if you're only going to be a couple of minutes.

Thank you, sincerely, for not parking in a handicap space if you can't legally park there :).