Exhaustion Comes In Many Forms

I'm having one of those nights that I think we've all had at one point in time or another. Where a wave of completely crippling exhaustion washes over you and you can't recall ever feeling so tired in your life. But at the same time, you really can't think of a proper word for it; tired or exhausted seems to fall short. 

Tonight, for me, this exhaustion goes beyond just physical exhaustion, though its presence is certainly felt. I feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted as if something has squashes all of the energy out of me like grapes in a juicing vat.

 I know part of the mental and emotional exhaustion comes from the inundation of just... absolute awfulness on the news, and on social media. The constant conflicts that I find myself wandering into simply by civilly voicing my opinion. Of having to constantly defend my right to have my opinion, to believe what I do, to exist. 

I suppose it's only natural spiritual exhaustion would follow, when surrounded with an environment of so much hate and anger and turmoil.

As to the physical exhaustion, that I've done to myself. I've been borrowing spoons for nearly three days now, as my dad had to have an operation and will not be allowed to do his normal household stuff for two weeks. So on top of what I typically do, to which I have down to a science of spoon cost, I now have quite a lot more to do on top of it, and I'm at such a huge spoon deficit right now I don't know how I'll ever pay it back any time soon. 

My body is letting me know quite severely that it's unhappy with what I've been doing via a drastic uptick in pain, so even though I want to sleep - desperately need to, in fact - I can't, because painsomnia is a bitch like that. 

But really, I'm the only one who can pick up most of his slack while he's down. My mom already runs her ass off doing stuff, adding more onto her shoulders would not only be monumentally unfair but I'm certain it would have her on crutches at the very least in no time. 

As to my brother.... he could help, certainly. But he doesn't. Or at least has yet to. We'll see in the remainder of the two weeks, but I don't have high hopes. When it comes to pitching in with housework he tends to have more excuses than a pregnant nun in confession. I don't deny that he is in pain. But who the hell isn't, in this house? I fight back tears while I clean the kitchen and sweep the floor, and then don't bother fighting them when I take our dog out to do his business because it's the one place no one will notice them. But to him, his pain is always the most important and the most severe, screw anyone else. 

It pisses me off to no end. 

Anyway. I just. Needed to rant and vent a little bit. Thanks for reading and if you're a new viewer to my blogs, feel free to peruse older posts. 

Jade

#TrumpGirlsBreakTheInternet ? Nope, But The Comments Are Breaking My Brain

(Note: Some of you have noticed the lack of italics and such lately; iPad hates blogger beyond a certain post length and formatting doesn't carry over from word programs. So I use - and caps and the like when I'm writing on iPad.)

Right, so. Those of us on Twitter have seen the trending hashtag, right? #TrumpGirlsBreakTheInternet? Yeah that one. Well, let me lay down some shit for you people right about now.

First and foremost, I'm a Liberal - before you get all judgey, Conservatives, keep reading. I don't like Trump as a person. I don't. He's a douche. I have the same sentiment regarding Hillary, honestly, except I actually trust her -less.- That woman has so many faces even Hel be like 'Dayum girl, who does your makeup?!' (Props if you get that Norse mythology reference.)

HOWEVER. Regardless of who I do or don't like, hell, regardless of who YOU do or don't like... EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES IN THIS COUNTRY! THAT IS A PART OF OUR CONSTITUTION. They have the right to vote for who they choose and to support who they choose, and for the feminists out there, slut shaming these women and literally egging them in person? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MISOGYNISTS? Isn't that what you're supposed to be fighting AGAINST? Or is it only misogyny when men do it, giving you a convenient little loophole to be evil bitches (Hey, if it's okay for you, it's okay for me) to other women who don't go along with your views?

If you want to shame, mock, belittle, and condemn these women simply because of how they look, and what they wear... Wait, isn't that the very same thing you complain about every single day on Tumblr and Twitter, and every other platform you can manage? Stop being such hypocrites!

If these women want to support and vote for Trump, that's their Constitutional right and their choice. I support their freedom of choice, their rights, and their freedom of expression. How is it I, an anti-feminist, am more "feminist" by what feminists claim feminism is about than the feminists I see putting these women down?!

Knock it off, stop behaving like children, and let people do what they're going to do! So what if you don't agree with their choice in presidential candidate? No one ever said you had to! It isn't YOUR choice; it's theirs.

Isn't being a liberal supposed to be about supporting the freedom of choice and supporting of rights and freedom of expression? What happened to that? Since when did it become about mockery and belittling those who don't agree with what you think? Don't you realize you're behaving WORSE than the people you supposedly dislike? Good grief, people, open your damn eyes and look in the mirror once in a while; you're becoming everything you once claimed to be against. No, you aren't becoming it. You HAVE become it, and over what? An election? Some pictures on the Internet? Way to stick to your values, opinions, morals and beliefs. Really showing your integrity, man, I tell ya - or rather, your lack thereof.

The U in the United States has vanished. We aren't United anymore. We've never been more divided. It's sad, and it's pathetic, and it's a testament to the level of immaturity and prejudice (racial, religious and political) that runs rampant in our country - as well as the level of ignorance to see that instead of tearing one another down for our differences, we should be looking at what we have in common and building each other up off of that foundation.

No one person can make America great again, especially not when so many individuals in this country are making it worse every single minute. It will take a unified effort to make this country great. And for that to happen, these lines in the sand have to vanish. Sadly.. I don't see that happening any time soon, not with so many people having their heads up their asses.

(Language warning) Ranting, Ranting, and more Ranting

I know it's been like, forever, since I've posted anything but a book review. I'm sorry for that, and I'm rectifying that now.

In truth, aside from being utterly exhausted 99% of the time for no damned good reason, which, I'm not sure if it's the chronic fatigue, my heart, or something else entirely, I'm just fucking tired of everything.

Have you guys noticed how much bullshit is everywhere lately? Just absolutely everywhere. People are getting their panties in a bunch over every tiny little thing because the government and the media want them to, so they do! The more the media focuses attention on shit, the more everyone seems to care, and the real issues that actually affect the world as a whole slip by the wayside.

We have the whole gender issues thing - you know, we've been using bathrooms with transgender individuals for decades and nobody fucking knew it, but now that the government and media made a big deal out of it, IT'S SUDDENLY A HUGE DEAL. I've had female, CIS friends verbally accosted by people in or outside of women's restrooms just because they don't fit some other woman's idea of what a woman should "look like."

People just want to use the damn bathroom. "What about the perverts?!" You ask. Well, what about the ones that were already there? The men in the men's room that would molest little boys, or the women - or hiding men - in women's rooms that would molest little girls or women. They've always been there, too. The laws aren't going to change that fact. The truth is, most children that get molested, statistically, are molested by someone they already know - a friend, a family member, a teacher, a church leader, etc. Pay attention to your damn kids, and don't send them to the bathroom alone. Don't worry about who's taking a piss beside you, worry about your own business.

And meanwhile, what about the homeless kids? The starving ones? The ones getting abused in their own homes? I don't hear you speaking up much about them. Hypocrites.

Speak your damn mind. You don't give a shit about the bathroom, you're using it as a mask for prejudice.

Anyway. Aside from that bullshit, there's the constant assaults on religions, on race, hell, even on disabled people - some SJWs are now saying that white disabled people are more privileged and powerful than POC disabled people. Uh, WHAT? Last I checked, disabled is disabled. There's no damn privilege when it comes to fucking disability.

I'm just tired of all of the petty first world problem bullshit. I really am. And honestly, that is exactly what it is. It's all first world problems. The world is going to hell in a handbasket, between wars, water shortages, poverty, climate shifts, etc. But everyone in the first world nations can't see a damn inch from in front of their face, and it's pathetic.

There's too much hate, too many people looking to make problems where there aren't any. Too many people wanting to tear each other apart because APPARENTLY that's more fun than finding common ground and coming together instead.

I used to wonder how the hell Trump managed to get as much support as he did. I don't any more. It's painfully obvious. Hate and prejudice are allowed to roam unchecked and nobody gives a second thought to setting it aside and looking for unity. Well, people, you reap what you sow. It will sicken me if he becomes our next president, but it honestly won't surprise me.