This Has To Stop

This post isn't going to be pleasant for many people, in fact, it's probably going to cause some butt hurt, but I really don't give a damn. Strap in, people, because this is going to get bumpy.
People have made posts about racism before, in fact, nothing has been more widely discussed. However, typically it's racism against particular groups - namely white people or African Americans (or is black PC now? I don't know; you tell me. I don't normally give a damn about PCness [that almost sounds like penis] but for once, I'm actually curious.) - and while this will touch on that a bit, this is about something else entirely, and will expand from there.


A family friend has a... We'll go with "cultural" name. At her workplace, she has faced sneers and derision, asking where she's from, where she was born, 'that's not an American name!' Etc. This woman was not only born in America, both of her parents are American as well. Her name is of Palestinian/Jordanian origin, which most people just throw under the "Arab" umbrella, but she was born and raised right here in the US of A. Since the shootings in Orlando, hell, since 9/11, the amount of racism and derision she has faced has been disgusting. Yes, she is Muslim, though she doesn't fully practice the religion beyond observing some of its laws such as not eating pork, etc. She doesn't wear a hijab, she to my knowledge doesn't pray five times a day, and there is nothing beyond her name and perhaps to an educated eye her skin tone and appearance that would make one even remotely assume she was of Middle-Eastern descent.


Her response to our shock at what she has faced is little more than "I'm used to it" in attitude. She shouldn't be. Just because someone is Middle-Eastern in heritage or name does not make them a terrorist, it does not mean they weren't born right here in America, it does not mean they aren't American, and it doesn't mean they're a Muslim - but even if they are a Muslim, that also does not mean they're a terrorist, either.


 Muslims outnumber any other people of religion on this planet. In truth, if they wanted everyone dead, we would be. Every religion has its radicals, every religion has its whack jobs. That does not mean that the majority agrees with their views. That does not mean that the minority reflects upon the majority. I will forever stand with the Muslims who follow the peaceful teachings of their religion, just as I stand with the Christians who follow the teachings of love and peace of Christ, though Christians slaughtered Muslims in scores during the Crusades. No religion has its hands clean. Every religion has spilled blood. Every religion has radicals, even today. Stop letting the media turn you against literally a billion plus people for the actions of less than .0001% of them.


Yes, I am aware there are passages of the Quran that preach against infidels and preach war and the like. But the very same can be found in the Old Testament of the Bible. For Christians out there, are you aware that Jesus is considered a prophet in Islam? And that Muslims are, by law of their religion, to obey the teachings of their prophets? Are you also aware that Allah is simply the Arabic word for "God" and Jews, Christians and Muslims all worship the same God? Ignorance is what is fueling the hate and religious war that is going on right now, and the more the western world screams about their hatred of Islam, the easier you're making it on terrorist cells to go "Look at how they hate our religion! Look at how they hate us!" You're actually adding fuel to their fire, to their propaganda, making it easier for them to corrupt and recruit young minds to their cause. But you can't see that because you are so horribly blinded not only by what the media and politicians are throwing out but by your own prejudice.


People, this has to stop! It has to! Hate has to stop. I know that sounds naïve and like a pipe dream, to think that hate can end. But it can. It really can. All you have to do... Is stop doing it. Stop judging people based on the color of their skin, or their hair, or their eyes, or their bone structure. Stop judging people based upon their religion. Stop judging people based upon their political affiliation. Stop getting so worked up by the media and what it tells you to like or dislike, who or what to hate. What is or isn't wrong. You know in your heart, no, in your SOUL, what is or isn't wrong. Love your fellow human, no matter the color of their skin or their religion or their political party. Love them even if you think they're fucking morons! Love them even if they piss you off! Don't get angry back, don't respond to hate with hate. Respond to hate with love, with compassion, with kindness.
Hate is a sickness, it's a disease that's running rampant in our world because it's such a very easy thing to do. It's so very easy to hate people. It's so very easy to look at someone and hate them for who they are or what they're doing or what they're saying. The hardest thing is to love them even though everything they believe, or stand for, goes against everything YOU believe or stand for. But my God if we could do that... If every person could do that.. Could love, could forgive, could just let others lead their lives and be who they are without judgment, without condemnation, without vitriol and hatred, there would be world peace. Legitimate, lasting world peace. There would be no reason for war, because people would refuse to kill those they love.


Eliminating racism is the first step. Don't look at someone's name or skin tone and see they're Middle-Eastern and automatically assume they're a terrorist or not American, even if they don't speak English fluently - some people are born here in America but speak English as a second language because they spoke their mother tongue in their home growing up. Don't look at an African American and assume they're going to mug you or shoot you, or break into your home or what have you, or that they're living off of welfare because they're too lazy to get a job. Don't look at a white person and assume they're privileged, that they have it easy, that they have a good job and a good life and everything just slides over to them on a silver platter. Don't look at an Asian and assume they can't speak English or that they work in a nail salon, or that they automatically speak/read/write whatever language their ancestors did. Don't look at a Hispanic person and assume they do yard work, or work at Home Depot, or that they're an illegal immigrant.


I could go on but you get the idea. Stop assuming based off of heritage, off of race. Look deeper than that. Get to know the person. Know them for who they are, not where they or their parents came from. And if they DID immigrate and are legal citizens? Congratulate them! If they're illegal? See if you can do anything to help. It costs something like $30,000 to become a legal citizen in the United States. Most people who come here are trying to provide a better life for their children, or are fleeing terrorism or oppression, and many of them can only bring what they can carry and have very limited funds. Many of the illegal citizens WANT to be legal. (Don't give me some BS anecdotal evidence; statistics outweigh your anecdotes.) Hell, they have to pay taxes anyway, regardless of the lies you've been told about that. (Seriously, do legit research. They do.)


The Statue of Liberty says "Bring us your tired, your hungry, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." Yet American citizens seem to be screaming "CLOSE THE DAMN DOORS!" And that is so sad, and so completely un-American. We're a melting pot, we have always been a melting pot. We need to help each other, and hold each other up, not beat each other down. So what if the guy/gal beside you isn't a legal American? (Also, stop assuming it's only Hispanics that are illegal citizens; there are a lot of people of other "races", even white people[e.g. Scandinavian, German, etc], that are illegals) That doesn't mean they're any less deserving of your help, or mine.


In fact, if you're so concerned about their legal status, help them achieve it. Put yourself in their shoes for five minutes. Think about what may have drove them to come here illegally, only to find out the overwhelming amount of money they need to become legal citizens. How heartbreaking would that be, to come for a better life, to reach for the American Dream, only to find out it's just as far out of your reach in the country as it was outside of it?


Do you see my point here? We need to help each other; we need to stop worrying so much about what country someone is from, or whether they're "legal" and start worrying so much more about one simple thing. "Caucasian" isn't a race. "Hispanic" isn't a race. "Asian" isn't a race. "Arab" isn't a race. These are simply heritages. We are all one race - HUMAN. We need to focus on that, we need to help each other, we need to love each other, to protect each other, to care for each other, to tear down all of these stupid ass words we use to define each other by that we then use to discriminate whether it's sex, sexual orientation, gender - these are important for one's identity, yes, but in the grand scheme of things, the one main focus needs to be on the pure and simple fact we are all purely human. We need to respect that. Fuck everything else.


We. Are. Human.


Love each other.


Respect each other.


Help each other.


Care for each other.


Have some compassion, some empathy, for the suffering and the struggles of your fellow human regardless of where they live, or what they look like, or what they believe or think.


Listen not with your ears, not with your mind, but with your heart, and with your soul. Let them lead you, and the world will truly be a better place; and isn't that, really, the goal in life? To leave this world in a better place than which we entered it? I've always felt that it was... And unfortunately, in my nearly 30 years... It's only gotten worse. I do what I can for my small part of the world, and to reach out with the Internet to help those that I can when and where and how I can. I only hope that in some way... This causes a ripple in the pond that will become a wave. We must be the change we wish to see... And it starts with one person.

You.

Why I Am An Anti-Feminist (Please Read Before You Judge)

(Edited to fix typos; thank you to those who pointed them out. My phone likes to make me look like an idiot and I had no access to my computer when writing this post.) 

So, as many of you know, or at least suspect, I'm a woman. I'm 29. And while many of you have read my blogs and have seen my views, I have yet to properly "come out." This was, admittedly, partly out of fear and anxiety of being attacked as I have been many times before on various social media outlets for my views and opinions, and for stating this very thing that I am about to state. But, honestly, I'm done hiding because of my fear, and out of my mouth... well... fingers... come the four most dangerous words a person, especially a woman, can utter on the internet.

I am an anti-feminist. (Is that four words? Or five? I forget the grammar rules when it comes to hyphens. I digress.)

There are many people, women especially, who have attacked me for this statement. They have said I deserve to be beaten by my non-existent boyfriend. They say I deserve to be raped, though I am a rape survivor. They say without feminism I would not have the rights I have today (which is untrue, and if anyone properly studied the history of womens' rights without bias and without delving into works written solely by feminist authors, they would know this. I will expand upon this later.)


They claim that I only say this because I want men to like me. They treat me as though I am some great traitor to my sex, and they act as though I don't want equality simply because I not only reject the feminist label but am against the movement as a whole. None of this could be further from the truth.

First and foremost, I am an egalitarian. I believe in equality for all, regardless of the color of their skin, their socioeconomic class, their religion, their sex, their gender identity, their sexual orientation, their age, the degree of their physical health, and all other things by which one could, conceivably, measure what rights one may or may not under the law be entitled to. There are many who would claim feminism is for this very same thing. Perhaps those who claim this are. But feminism is not.

Feminism has done nothing, as a whole, especially within its culture on social networks, but push for female superiority over men. Women are already equal to men and have been for some time. Women have equal rights to men in the US, and in many ways, have more rights than men. How, you may ask? Allow me to give you some examples.

• Men are, at birth, subjected more often than not to genital mutilation; female genital mutilation is illegal in the United States.
• At the age of 18, men must buy their right to vote by signing up to be drafted at any given point should a draft arise. Women must do no such thing. 
• Men receive harsher punishment for crimes, even if the circumstances and crimes are exactly the same. Women have been found completely guilty of horrid crimes (such as statutory rape) and been allowed to walk free. No man would be allowed the same thing.
• By the FBI's definition, which was changed largely in part thanks to feminism, men can no longer be raped by women, as the definition of rape is now solely 'to be penetrated without consent.' The only way a woman could in fact rape a man, by law, is to sodomize him with a foreign object. Otherwise, she is guilty only of sexual assault, a far lesser crime in the eyes of the law.
• In many cases, men will lose custody battles for their children, even if they would be able to provide a better and more stable home for their children than the mother. Fathers get next to no rights. Furthermore, there is a wealth of help available for women who are having difficulties supporting themselves and their child/children, including free or low income housing. If a man cannot support his child, he goes to jail.
• Studies have been shown that women can be equally if not more physically and emotionally abusive in relationships than men, including relationships with reciprocal violence, and yet should the police be called, only the man would go to jail (unless the man has visible marks.) There are thousands of shelters for women who are victims of domestic violence, but only one - just one - in the entire country for men. 
• If a man does come forward about being abused or raped by a woman - oh, sorry, "sexually assaulted" by a woman - he faces being shamed, mocked, belittled, and flat out not believed by those he comes forward to and by his peers, far more so than even women. He is seen as weak, as a coward, and being as he is a man, how could he not want sex, right? Men are the victims of domestic violence equally as often as women, however they simply do not come forward for these very reasons. Women these days get believed more often than not. Men just get more abuse.
• Men can't really show their emotions - again with the shame, mockery, and belittlement. Sure, they can be angry, happy, et cetera. But heaven forbid they cry or be vulnerable in any way. Women don't really have this problem. 

These are just a few examples, flat off the top of my head. There are more that I've talked to many men about. Feminists often see men as the problem, see men - especially CIS white men - as having all the power, but really, they're victims of societal oppression and pressure as much as anyone. However when someone points this out, especially a woman, they get attacked, insulted, and harassed. In some cases their online accounts get hacked and shut down, and their personal information released such as their real name, phone number, and address, so they can be stalked and harassed offline. Instead of allowing opposing arguments, instead of allowing differing opinions, the general M.O. of feminism is censorship. No one is allowed to disagree with feminism without extreme repercussions, especially celebrities. They're bullied and harassed until they either apologize and withdraw their statements or do a sudden 180 and come out as feminists. 

The truth is, I'm not saying there aren't feminists that are genuinely pro-equality, that genuinely care about men's issues too. But ladies, you're a dying breed amongst the toxic, cancerous majority. I say ladies because amongst the majority of feminists, men cannot be feminists, they can only be allies of feminism. Do you see the problem with this? A movement that claims to be pro-equality that excludes an entire gender cannot be truly for equality.

This is usually the point in a conversation in which a feminist would whip out the dictionary definition of feminism, as if to say, "This is what the dictionary says(which, if you're using an actual dictionary it says it's a women's rights movement, not an equality movement, btw) and thus, you have to accept this as what the movement is about and completely ignore the actions of the movement that contradict it!" Well, funny thing about dictionary definitions. They don't mean shit when it comes to things like this if what the thing it's defining is doing something completely different. Communism, for instance, sounds nice in the dictionary. In practice? Not so much. Then you have the people who say you can't be racist against white people, just prejudice. Allow me to give you the definition of racism: "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based upon the belief that one's own race is superior." whereas a second definition more simplistically defines it as "racial prejudice or discrimination." Either way, it is very much possible to be racist toward white people, just as one can be racist toward any other color of skin. 

Feminism is growing more and more anti-male and anti-white, as though being white and being male are something to be ashamed of, something to be apologized for, and something one can control. Racism and sexism, and even misogyny are growing prevalent within the movement. Women who aren't feminists are bullied and attacked. They are treated as though they shouldn't have the right to their opinions. They are treated as though they shouldn't exist, or shouldn't be allowed to have a uterus. They are slandered and insulted, abused verbally and emotionally simply for being female and rejecting the label. That is misogyny through and through. 

The fact of the matter is, western feminism is wrapped up in so many first world problems it isn't even funny. Women in other countries, especially the Middle East and Africa, are dealing with problems like defending their families from terrorism, their daughters and themselves from gang rape. In some of these countries, fathers sell their young daughters after they've had their first periods to the man they get the best dowry from regardless of how he will treat her or how old he is so she can father his children, and in many cases after her first period, or, often, during, she's subjected to female genital mutilation, where her labia is cut off and her vagina is sewn shut to the size of a match stick and she is only able to painfully urinate one drop at a time through a mutilated urethra, often suffering multiple bladder and kidney infections throughout her lifetime because of this. Sex is extremely painful and childbirth more so. After birthing her child, her vagina is re-sewn to its match stick size to keep it tight for her husband. I use the term sewn loosely; in many areas, they puncture the skin with thorns and use plant material or homespun, thick thread to pull the skin tight. It isn't a surgical procedure in which we would know it here in our comfortable, safe world where we are protected from so many things we are so, so amazingly fortunate to not have to deal with and that we are safe from.

Yet here, women are bitching about "manspreading" while taking up 2-3 seats with themselves and their belongings. They're bitching about having to stand in line at public restrooms while men don't have to (could this be because men just use the bathroom and don't fix their makeup, hair, etc. while in there?) There are so many completely trivial issues that honestly do not matter that are being complained about that are 100% first world problems, and very few feminists care about global issues and care only about "issues" that bother only them. The "issues" I see women complaining about have nothing to do about rights and have everything to do with entitlement and infantilising women. 

To expand upon an earlier topic that I promised I would expand upon, the rights we women have have little to do with the suffragettes. First and foremost, these women were not feminists and would be outright appalled by modern feminism. These women were not one cohesive group working toward a common goal, but were multiple small groups or even individuals all working toward their own goals. Upper class women of their time already had more rights than many middle and lower class men; they could own property, they could get higher education, they could become physicians, teachers, etc. The reason they wanted more rights was because of the expansion of rights not only to those classes but to black people as well. They wanted to ensure they would have more rights than black men and women. Racism and classism heavily fueled their motives, and this has been well documented, and it's also hilariously easy to find quotes from these women of a strongly racist nature.

All of this plays into not only feminism today as what the movement conveniently leaves out or claims otherwise but its current trends echoing, in reverse, those of the suffragettes in the past. Instead of racism towards POC there is now racism toward white people. Now it has expanded even toward white people with disabilities, claiming that white people with disabilities are more powerful and have more rights and privileges than POC with disabilities, and how they figured that one is completely beyond me.

All of this has culminated in making me completely anti-feminist. I hadn't always been, but as I witnessed the growing toxicity, misandry, misogyny, and hypocrisy within the movement I disassociated. I refuse to associate myself with a movement that defines itself as being for equality yet seems intent on excluding others and taking away rights from them to give themselves more. Equality means all are equal. This seems to be "We want everyone to be equal, we just want to be a little more equal than everyone else."

I am and will always be an egalitarian, and I will always seek to help those whose voices aren't heard, whose rights are being infringed upon, and who both need and, most importantly want my help. The world doesn't revolve around me, nor my uterus. It doesn't revolve around anyone's genitals, however we cannot ignore that people are being oppressed because of the genitals they were born with. Taking from one and giving to another won't fix anything. Giving the same to everyone will. And most importantly, seeking to help those in countries where women are possessions, like cattle, and whose genitals are mutilated - and ceasing legal male mutilation here - is a step in the right direction.

Where Has the Respect Gone?

As I browse social media, news sites, "news" sites, entertainment sites, etc. One thing has made itself perfectly clear to me. There is one primary thing broken with our society as a whole that transcends cultural boundaries, language barriers, and country borders. The funny thing is (and I mean that not as haha funny but more as odd funny) it's something that could so easily be fixed, if we, as a collective whole, decided we wanted to.

Respect. It's disappearing, fast. What little is left is being torn to shreds, being replaced by a culture of entitlement and infantile whining over things that simply are a part of life. People no longer respect each other simply on principle.

Used to be, even a random stranger walking down the street had your respect unless they did or said something to lose it. Now it's "if they want my respect they have to earn it."
No. Respect should, at least in some small part, be given to everyone, period, unless they lose it. Trust has to be earned, respect should be given without question.

If we all simply gave each other that common respect that people once had for each other, long before social media and the internet, before even the television and telephone, perhaps this world wouldn't be such a terrible place and in such a mess, especially now that rights movements have entitled people to rights that they didn't have back in those times due to their class or color (and ironically even though they hadn't the rights, in many - yes, I know, not all, but many - cases, they had respect from good people.)

Now, people refuse to respect each other because of the color of their skin, or the country they live in, because of their religion, or their sex. They refuse to respect each other because of their sexuality, or their gender identity, or their political party. The lack of respect is overwhelming.

If people could, just for one hour, worldwide, put aside their hate, their prejudices, and talk to one another with respect and the intention to learn and to understand, and with love and peace surrounding their intentions, it's my belief more progress would be made in that one hour toward securing world peace and ending wars and civil unrest than has been made in decades.

It's perfectly alright to have your own beliefs, to have your own opinions, ideals, and morals. But it is not alright to hate, badger, attack and disrespect others simply because theirs aren't the same as yours. It is our differences that make us so beautiful and unique as a species, as a global culture, and it is our sameness upon which progress toward peace can be made.

Please, set out to listen to one another, to someone who believes differently than you, with the intention not of changing them or changing their mind, but simply of learning about them, and understanding them. You may just learn something about yourself in the process.

For my Christian brothers and sisters, remember the words of Christ,
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

(Language warning) Ranting, Ranting, and more Ranting

I know it's been like, forever, since I've posted anything but a book review. I'm sorry for that, and I'm rectifying that now.

In truth, aside from being utterly exhausted 99% of the time for no damned good reason, which, I'm not sure if it's the chronic fatigue, my heart, or something else entirely, I'm just fucking tired of everything.

Have you guys noticed how much bullshit is everywhere lately? Just absolutely everywhere. People are getting their panties in a bunch over every tiny little thing because the government and the media want them to, so they do! The more the media focuses attention on shit, the more everyone seems to care, and the real issues that actually affect the world as a whole slip by the wayside.

We have the whole gender issues thing - you know, we've been using bathrooms with transgender individuals for decades and nobody fucking knew it, but now that the government and media made a big deal out of it, IT'S SUDDENLY A HUGE DEAL. I've had female, CIS friends verbally accosted by people in or outside of women's restrooms just because they don't fit some other woman's idea of what a woman should "look like."

People just want to use the damn bathroom. "What about the perverts?!" You ask. Well, what about the ones that were already there? The men in the men's room that would molest little boys, or the women - or hiding men - in women's rooms that would molest little girls or women. They've always been there, too. The laws aren't going to change that fact. The truth is, most children that get molested, statistically, are molested by someone they already know - a friend, a family member, a teacher, a church leader, etc. Pay attention to your damn kids, and don't send them to the bathroom alone. Don't worry about who's taking a piss beside you, worry about your own business.

And meanwhile, what about the homeless kids? The starving ones? The ones getting abused in their own homes? I don't hear you speaking up much about them. Hypocrites.

Speak your damn mind. You don't give a shit about the bathroom, you're using it as a mask for prejudice.

Anyway. Aside from that bullshit, there's the constant assaults on religions, on race, hell, even on disabled people - some SJWs are now saying that white disabled people are more privileged and powerful than POC disabled people. Uh, WHAT? Last I checked, disabled is disabled. There's no damn privilege when it comes to fucking disability.

I'm just tired of all of the petty first world problem bullshit. I really am. And honestly, that is exactly what it is. It's all first world problems. The world is going to hell in a handbasket, between wars, water shortages, poverty, climate shifts, etc. But everyone in the first world nations can't see a damn inch from in front of their face, and it's pathetic.

There's too much hate, too many people looking to make problems where there aren't any. Too many people wanting to tear each other apart because APPARENTLY that's more fun than finding common ground and coming together instead.

I used to wonder how the hell Trump managed to get as much support as he did. I don't any more. It's painfully obvious. Hate and prejudice are allowed to roam unchecked and nobody gives a second thought to setting it aside and looking for unity. Well, people, you reap what you sow. It will sicken me if he becomes our next president, but it honestly won't surprise me.