Where Has the Respect Gone?

As I browse social media, news sites, "news" sites, entertainment sites, etc. One thing has made itself perfectly clear to me. There is one primary thing broken with our society as a whole that transcends cultural boundaries, language barriers, and country borders. The funny thing is (and I mean that not as haha funny but more as odd funny) it's something that could so easily be fixed, if we, as a collective whole, decided we wanted to.

Respect. It's disappearing, fast. What little is left is being torn to shreds, being replaced by a culture of entitlement and infantile whining over things that simply are a part of life. People no longer respect each other simply on principle.

Used to be, even a random stranger walking down the street had your respect unless they did or said something to lose it. Now it's "if they want my respect they have to earn it."
No. Respect should, at least in some small part, be given to everyone, period, unless they lose it. Trust has to be earned, respect should be given without question.

If we all simply gave each other that common respect that people once had for each other, long before social media and the internet, before even the television and telephone, perhaps this world wouldn't be such a terrible place and in such a mess, especially now that rights movements have entitled people to rights that they didn't have back in those times due to their class or color (and ironically even though they hadn't the rights, in many - yes, I know, not all, but many - cases, they had respect from good people.)

Now, people refuse to respect each other because of the color of their skin, or the country they live in, because of their religion, or their sex. They refuse to respect each other because of their sexuality, or their gender identity, or their political party. The lack of respect is overwhelming.

If people could, just for one hour, worldwide, put aside their hate, their prejudices, and talk to one another with respect and the intention to learn and to understand, and with love and peace surrounding their intentions, it's my belief more progress would be made in that one hour toward securing world peace and ending wars and civil unrest than has been made in decades.

It's perfectly alright to have your own beliefs, to have your own opinions, ideals, and morals. But it is not alright to hate, badger, attack and disrespect others simply because theirs aren't the same as yours. It is our differences that make us so beautiful and unique as a species, as a global culture, and it is our sameness upon which progress toward peace can be made.

Please, set out to listen to one another, to someone who believes differently than you, with the intention not of changing them or changing their mind, but simply of learning about them, and understanding them. You may just learn something about yourself in the process.

For my Christian brothers and sisters, remember the words of Christ,
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

Could It Be POTS?

So, I've been having cardiac symptoms for some time now. Palpitations, sometimes accompanied by chest pain, randomly feeling like my heart disappeared while feeling woozy and short of breath before my heart suddenly flops and starts pounding, racing heartbeat, low bp, narrow pulse pressure, all that fun stuff.

I had been put on a beta blocker (Inderal, standard, not extended) for my Chiari Malformation to try to help the migraines, and at first it helped the narrowing of my pulse pressure, but a few months afterwards, the rest of the cardiac symptoms including what my doctor called presyncopic events began to appear. He refered me to a cardiologist, but thanks to a 10 day long migraine, I had to reschedule, and I won't see him until July.

My symptoms continued to worsen; shortness of breath with any physical activity including walking, the palpitations became more severe and frequent, and inevitably I wound up in the ER when I couldn't get my breath back and my heart was both racing and skipping beats.

They ran tests, did an EKG, gave me fluids, etc. EKG showed a probable enlarged atrium, well that's good news. But that aside everything was normal.

Followed up with my GP and he put me on extended release Inderal, which effectively doubled my dose as well. Since then, the palpitations have lessened significantly, but I still get extremely weak and short of breath when I'm standing, I still get light headed when I stand up from a seated or lying position, and changing from sitting to lying down or vice versa still makes my heart palpitate a little and winds me a bit.

All in all, I don't know if this is POTS or the Chiari (which my doctor thinks is a probability). I don't know what sort of testing is even done for POTS and how it's diagnosed.

If anyone has any information, educated opinions, insight, etc, please feel free to comment. I'm at a loss at this point.

(Language warning) Ranting, Ranting, and more Ranting

I know it's been like, forever, since I've posted anything but a book review. I'm sorry for that, and I'm rectifying that now.

In truth, aside from being utterly exhausted 99% of the time for no damned good reason, which, I'm not sure if it's the chronic fatigue, my heart, or something else entirely, I'm just fucking tired of everything.

Have you guys noticed how much bullshit is everywhere lately? Just absolutely everywhere. People are getting their panties in a bunch over every tiny little thing because the government and the media want them to, so they do! The more the media focuses attention on shit, the more everyone seems to care, and the real issues that actually affect the world as a whole slip by the wayside.

We have the whole gender issues thing - you know, we've been using bathrooms with transgender individuals for decades and nobody fucking knew it, but now that the government and media made a big deal out of it, IT'S SUDDENLY A HUGE DEAL. I've had female, CIS friends verbally accosted by people in or outside of women's restrooms just because they don't fit some other woman's idea of what a woman should "look like."

People just want to use the damn bathroom. "What about the perverts?!" You ask. Well, what about the ones that were already there? The men in the men's room that would molest little boys, or the women - or hiding men - in women's rooms that would molest little girls or women. They've always been there, too. The laws aren't going to change that fact. The truth is, most children that get molested, statistically, are molested by someone they already know - a friend, a family member, a teacher, a church leader, etc. Pay attention to your damn kids, and don't send them to the bathroom alone. Don't worry about who's taking a piss beside you, worry about your own business.

And meanwhile, what about the homeless kids? The starving ones? The ones getting abused in their own homes? I don't hear you speaking up much about them. Hypocrites.

Speak your damn mind. You don't give a shit about the bathroom, you're using it as a mask for prejudice.

Anyway. Aside from that bullshit, there's the constant assaults on religions, on race, hell, even on disabled people - some SJWs are now saying that white disabled people are more privileged and powerful than POC disabled people. Uh, WHAT? Last I checked, disabled is disabled. There's no damn privilege when it comes to fucking disability.

I'm just tired of all of the petty first world problem bullshit. I really am. And honestly, that is exactly what it is. It's all first world problems. The world is going to hell in a handbasket, between wars, water shortages, poverty, climate shifts, etc. But everyone in the first world nations can't see a damn inch from in front of their face, and it's pathetic.

There's too much hate, too many people looking to make problems where there aren't any. Too many people wanting to tear each other apart because APPARENTLY that's more fun than finding common ground and coming together instead.

I used to wonder how the hell Trump managed to get as much support as he did. I don't any more. It's painfully obvious. Hate and prejudice are allowed to roam unchecked and nobody gives a second thought to setting it aside and looking for unity. Well, people, you reap what you sow. It will sicken me if he becomes our next president, but it honestly won't surprise me.

Book Review - The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George

I was a bit gunshy about getting this one; the reviews were mixed, and its premise seemed a bit, well, cheesy, really. However, in truth, I was more or less pleasantly surprised, though this book took me a bit longer to get through than most - intentionally so; I wanted to take time to properly digest segments of it rather than just plowing dead ahead.

The Little Paris Bookshop is pleasantly poignant, it doesn't throw heavy doses of optimism or cliche at you, which in and of itself is refreshing, and it truly is relatable to those of us who have lost love - whether lovers due to break ups or death, or family members. It's also relatable to those who have never even found it, thanks to a particular character.

Yes, it is somewhat predictable in some aspects, but there were a couple of slight curves that I didn't see coming that threw me for a  bit of a loop, and the ending tied things up quite nicely. In truth, it really does make me yearn for a literary pharmacist of my own, though I found the recommendations at the back of the book rather cute.

I wouldn't wholly call this a "feel good" book; it does elicit a lot of heartache at times with how one can so easily relate to Jean, and the ending itself was bittersweet, so it wasn't wholly enough of a pick me up to counteract that, so be prepared for a lot of emotional ups and downs in this book, and if you're a heavily empathetic person as I am, take it in small doses so you don't get bogged down.

That being said, this book was worth the read, and I'll probably be reading it again at some point when I need the emotional release. Jean would classify this one in his "need to cry" section, I think.

I received this book from the Blogging for Books program in exchange for this honest and unbiased review.

Book Review: A Fine Imitation by Amber Brock

I'm not usually one to get into the romance genre, but I decided, as I really do adore period pieces, to give A Fine Imitation a go. I'm so very glad I did! I've seen a couple of reviews here and there from people complaining about the slow or lack of story progression, and I honestly have no idea what they're talking about! The story progression was fantastic, and the character development was glorious.

I really felt Vera's struggles, not only with her upbringing and family, but with herself as well. The descriptions of the settings, of the characters, and of various details such as paintings and other works of art were fabulous and really put me in the scene, which isn't something that's easily accomplished, and while the shifting back and forth between past and present was, at first, a bit difficult for me to keep up with, once I got used to it, it was a breeze.

Amber Brock really managed to keep the characters within their personalities without letting them become one-dimensional, which is a difficult undertaking, and allowed them to fully blossom into who they were. She added seeds of doubt, of mystery, of intrigue, some characters you loathe right from the get-go, and others you found yourself rooting for just because you wanted to see them get one over on the other characters.

All in all, I highly recommend this book, I devoured it in one sitting and plan to re-read it many times over; it's a wonderful ride from start to finish that leaves you both satisfied yet still wanting that little bit more that makes you wonder if you won't see another novel in the future featuring the main characters from the book. Fantastic work, Mrs. Brock - my hat goes off to you!


I received this book from the Blogging for Books program in exchange for this honest and unbiased review.

Book Review: How to Weep In Public by Jacqueline Novak

To say that How to Weep in Public is relatable would be a gross understatement; I've suffered from depression for a large portion of my life, and like Jacqueline, and most anyone with depression, have periods of good and bad, where I'm “better” and “worse.” I was mildly cynical – no, perhaps the better term would be “apprehensive” now that I think of it; or something between the two – when I chose a book about depression as my first book in the BFB program. You see, this has been one of my worse periods, of late. I've fallen into that mind-and-body numbing apathy of depression where very little is interesting or entertaining, and even just reading is too much, sometimes, and reading is by far my favorite pastime. However, before I was even two pages into the introduction, I was hooked. No, more than that. I was smiling! Before much longer, I was laughing! Big, doofy belly laughs in an otherwise silent room that would surely have had the family dog looking at me like I was loony were he in the room (thankfully, he was not, thus I faced only the judgment of my fish) and it only got better from there.

In the introduction, Jacqueline states that there will be no promises of help; that she's just there to keep you (the reader) company. She kept her promise – there were no promises of help, and she did very much so keep me company. However, the “liability” for my feeling better she tried to shirk on the last page, I will not allow. I was, by the end of the book – that I had not read so much as inhaled in the course of an evening with the voracity of someone starving stumbling upon a free buffet – feeling better. Yes, my apathy is still present, but the overwhelming weight of the world feels lighter, and the fact she simply made me laugh as much as she did was incredible.

Be aware, however; this book will not be for everyone – Jacqueline does use some four-letter words, and sexual metaphors, both of which are typically utilized to lighten the mood, and they do so quite well, but I also find they help get certain points across in a much more direct manner than if they had been more primly stated. Instead of flowery words, we have the very real experiences of a woman who has spent literally her entire life in the trenches of depression, and is unapologetic in both her use of aforementioned metaphors, but is very to-the-point and direct about what she has to say. Her use of wit and sarcasm, her self-esteem issues and her occasional cynical remarks speaks to me greatly, as I myself am a highly sarcastic, cynical individual with self-esteem issues, as I've come to learn many people with depression tend to be. Is this, perhaps, due to a common link between the aforementioned and intelligence, and thusly, intelligence and depression? Perhaps so, but science is still scratching its... head.. about exactly what causes depression in the grand scheme of things, so speculation is all there is.

There was, genuinely, not a single thing I didn't adore about this book. I know it will be one I will read again, and again, and again, and I'm sure each time I read it, I will glean more from it in the re-read than I did in the time before, as is often the case with literature (and, let's face it, my memory isn't the best, so I'll always forget things, here and there, too.) If you're looking for a book on depression that's real, that's hilarious, and that is a genuine guide to how to get through life with depression, I highly recommend this book to you. I, in fact, can't recall a non-fiction work that I've enjoyed as much as I have this book, so truly, that only adds to my recommendation, to be honest with you.

I received this book from the Blogging for Books program in exchange for this honest and unbiased review.

An Update and Annoucement

Well, life has had its ups and downs lately; fibro flares, bipolar mood swings, you name it, life has thrown it at me. It's said God never gives you more than you can handle... Sometimes I do so wish He didn't trust me quite so much! LOL!

Overall my pain level has been higher than usual but it's the turn of the seasons, and with the weird weather in the Midwest, and the stress - emotional and otherwise - in my life lately, that's understandable. I go for my first counseling appointment Monday; I'm pretty nervous about it honestly, but I know I need it. I need an unbiased third party to be able to talk to about everything, and I know I have a lot of unresolved emotional issues that I need to talk about.

As to my announcement, well, there are a few. First. I won my disability claim! I've been receiving checks since March and am anxiously awaiting my first back pay check. I'm not thrilled with social security's back pay system; it's three payments, one every six months, then my SSD payments start. It's basically going to take three years for me to get my full back pay. Annoying? Very.

Second announcement: You're going to start seeing book reviews on here! I joined a site called Blogging for Books - which is just what it sounds like; you sign up, select what sorts of books you like, then pick a free book to receive in exchange for publishing an honest blog review on their website and your own blog. I'm looking forward to it! :D my first book will be here in 10-14 days and once I've read it I'll have my review up!

So. Stay tuned! I'll be picking not only health related items (This one deals with depression) but religion, fiction, non-fiction, whatever strikes my fancy and sounds like something I'd enjoy and be able to write a sound review on :) looking forward to reviewing for them - and for you all.

Check them out at bloggingforbooks.com if you have a blog (I don't know if tumblr counts, but goodreads, Facebook, and Twitter don't) and can do a good three paragraphs of an honest review plus a disclaimer in return for a free book or ebook! They even cover shipping!!!!