There's something you need to know about me, and many anti-feminists (not all, I know for a fact, but many) especially if you are a feminist reading this.
Just because I am a anti-feminist does not mean I automatically dislike you. In fact, I probably don't unless you give me good reason. If you stand for equality, if you advocate men's issues as well as women's issues, if you recognize that racism has no boundaries, that poverty affects everyone, that disability can strike anyone, that rapists and abusers can be of any gender? We're not enemies. We're allies, we're fighting for the same cause. We simply fight under different banners. You're Gryffindor, I'm Hufflepuff. We're cool.
There's only one thing that WILL make me have a problem with you; haranguing me, badgering me, and otherwise attacking me for NOT being a feminist and trying to make me assume the label. I am an egalitarian. I CHOSE, of my own free will, of my own freedom of choice, of my own equality to make that choice, the label of egalitarian. To badger and attack me for doing so is not only anti-equality, it's misogynistic. You're saying that a woman can't choose any label but feminism for equality, because she obviously isn't intelligent enough to make the choice for herself. That. Is. Misogyny.
I've done the research, I've done the reading, I've spent more hours than many would ever spend even in college courses doing so, and I have made my choice. I am not stupid. I am not ignorant. I am not uneducated. I am not. Your. Enemy. Do you understand that?
Now, perhaps explaining to you why I chose to disassociate from the label will help you understand why I am so passionate in said disassociation.
I do understand that there are many feminists that are for equality, that are truly my allies in this war we fight to help men, to help the impoverished and oppressed, and to bring to light the true facts about rape and abuse as well as cease male genital mutilation as female genital mutilation has long been illegal in this country, and to also shed light on the REAL issues that women face - and I'm not talking the crap teenagers whine about on Tumblr that's just daily living for every individual, not just women, or the myth of the wage gap (that even feminism has disproven by now) but the fact that women need to take control of their own lives and education, and be responsible for what fields they enter; that women need to encourage their daughters to be confident and strong, and also encourage a healthy relationship with their fathers even if the parents are separated. (This goes for the sons too.) That women need to stop behaving like victims yet cry misogyny when they get treated as such; these are the issues we need to control right now, as women.
Yes, we need more women in STEM. But that is also a choice. Gender Studies majoring won't help with that, nor will it necessarily provide you an equal wage to that of a man who took a degree in Architechture. That is where responsibility comes in, too. We are responsible for our lives, for our education, for our futures, and that is a message that needs to be resonated throughout society as a whole. Men aren't responsible for us, we are.
That aside, the rest of the feminists, and sadly, these are becoming the majority despite anecdotal evidence, are creating a toxic core of misandry, misogyny, racism, and from some even transphobia within the movement. They don't want equality, they want female supremacy. They blame men for everything, they infantilize women as a whole, women are helpless, blameless victims always, and are never expected to take responsibility for anything. Anyone who questions them or the holy church of feminism is attacked, bullied, belittled, mocked, shamed, and even stalked and attacked offline. They shame any woman who is thin and fit and dares be feminine or show off her body while turning around and praising the same of any heavy woman (while I applaud body positivity, it must be equal!) and will harass any man who dares to comment on anything they post because they're men so what would they know and what right have they to speak?
I have never, not ever, faced as much misogyny from anyone, in any place, or from any group of people, as I have from these women. I'm talking a level of misogyny that would completely make them lose their fucking MINDS and explode their internet if it came from a man. I've been called a stupid brainwashed whore, I've been called a slut, I've been told I should be beaten and raped, I've been mocked BECAUSE I was raped and told 'See that's why you need feminism!' I'm not making any of this up; and there's more, but really, I don't even want to think about the worst shit... And yeah, it gets worse than that. All of that simply because I disagree with them. And I didn't even do so meanly. I rarely do. I just ask a question, or politely state an opposing view, and they flip their lids. It's ridiculous. And it isn't just me - I've talked to literally over 100 women who have faced this very same thing, by dozens of women, each, if not more, on Facebook, on Twitter, and on Tumblr. One woman had to delete her Tumblr because the harassment was so intense she nearly committed suicide, and you can find stories similar to hers all over. Feminists are bullying and shaming women into mental breakdowns and legitimate suicide attempts all over social media simply because they aren't feminists. How dare they, right?
Then you have the people who, when you pose a point, go on a delusional rant, call YOU closed minded, and then block you before you even get a chance to respond. They don't want a conversation. They want sanctimony, self-satisfaction, and censorship while proclaiming it's for "equality." No, equality is letting BOTH SIDES SPEAK. You can't pick and choose when it comes to equality. Yet I've been blocked by so many feminists I don't even KNOW simply because I'm an anti-fem, or because of people I follow. They don't want to hear another viewpoint besides their own, they aren't interested in anything besides what feminists have to say. They don't want anything but censorship of all outside views. This is called an echo chamber. It isn't healthy, and in fact actually promotes mental instability, mental illness, and stunts emotional and intellectual growth. (Seriously, you can research that.)
These people don't want equality. They don't. This is the movement you are a part of now. This is what it has become. This is why I am an anti-feminist and am an egalitarian and why you will never, ever shove the brand of feminism onto my skin no matter how hard you try.
True equality is promotion of freedom of speech for all, even if you don't like it. It's equal rights and treatment for all, even if you don't like it (*Cough NDAA cough*), it's equal freedom of expression for everyone, even if you don't like it. You don't HAVE to like it, hell, you can even say you don't like it - that's your right. But you DO have to tolerate and accept it, if you truly are for equality.
And that includes letting other people decide not to be feminists without hounding them and trying to convert them.
Thank you for reading, and as always, feel free to comment below.
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