Why I Am An Anti-Feminist (Please Read Before You Judge)

(Edited to fix typos; thank you to those who pointed them out. My phone likes to make me look like an idiot and I had no access to my computer when writing this post.) 

So, as many of you know, or at least suspect, I'm a woman. I'm 29. And while many of you have read my blogs and have seen my views, I have yet to properly "come out." This was, admittedly, partly out of fear and anxiety of being attacked as I have been many times before on various social media outlets for my views and opinions, and for stating this very thing that I am about to state. But, honestly, I'm done hiding because of my fear, and out of my mouth... well... fingers... come the four most dangerous words a person, especially a woman, can utter on the internet.

I am an anti-feminist. (Is that four words? Or five? I forget the grammar rules when it comes to hyphens. I digress.)

There are many people, women especially, who have attacked me for this statement. They have said I deserve to be beaten by my non-existent boyfriend. They say I deserve to be raped, though I am a rape survivor. They say without feminism I would not have the rights I have today (which is untrue, and if anyone properly studied the history of womens' rights without bias and without delving into works written solely by feminist authors, they would know this. I will expand upon this later.)


They claim that I only say this because I want men to like me. They treat me as though I am some great traitor to my sex, and they act as though I don't want equality simply because I not only reject the feminist label but am against the movement as a whole. None of this could be further from the truth.

First and foremost, I am an egalitarian. I believe in equality for all, regardless of the color of their skin, their socioeconomic class, their religion, their sex, their gender identity, their sexual orientation, their age, the degree of their physical health, and all other things by which one could, conceivably, measure what rights one may or may not under the law be entitled to. There are many who would claim feminism is for this very same thing. Perhaps those who claim this are. But feminism is not.

Feminism has done nothing, as a whole, especially within its culture on social networks, but push for female superiority over men. Women are already equal to men and have been for some time. Women have equal rights to men in the US, and in many ways, have more rights than men. How, you may ask? Allow me to give you some examples.

• Men are, at birth, subjected more often than not to genital mutilation; female genital mutilation is illegal in the United States.
• At the age of 18, men must buy their right to vote by signing up to be drafted at any given point should a draft arise. Women must do no such thing. 
• Men receive harsher punishment for crimes, even if the circumstances and crimes are exactly the same. Women have been found completely guilty of horrid crimes (such as statutory rape) and been allowed to walk free. No man would be allowed the same thing.
• By the FBI's definition, which was changed largely in part thanks to feminism, men can no longer be raped by women, as the definition of rape is now solely 'to be penetrated without consent.' The only way a woman could in fact rape a man, by law, is to sodomize him with a foreign object. Otherwise, she is guilty only of sexual assault, a far lesser crime in the eyes of the law.
• In many cases, men will lose custody battles for their children, even if they would be able to provide a better and more stable home for their children than the mother. Fathers get next to no rights. Furthermore, there is a wealth of help available for women who are having difficulties supporting themselves and their child/children, including free or low income housing. If a man cannot support his child, he goes to jail.
• Studies have been shown that women can be equally if not more physically and emotionally abusive in relationships than men, including relationships with reciprocal violence, and yet should the police be called, only the man would go to jail (unless the man has visible marks.) There are thousands of shelters for women who are victims of domestic violence, but only one - just one - in the entire country for men. 
• If a man does come forward about being abused or raped by a woman - oh, sorry, "sexually assaulted" by a woman - he faces being shamed, mocked, belittled, and flat out not believed by those he comes forward to and by his peers, far more so than even women. He is seen as weak, as a coward, and being as he is a man, how could he not want sex, right? Men are the victims of domestic violence equally as often as women, however they simply do not come forward for these very reasons. Women these days get believed more often than not. Men just get more abuse.
• Men can't really show their emotions - again with the shame, mockery, and belittlement. Sure, they can be angry, happy, et cetera. But heaven forbid they cry or be vulnerable in any way. Women don't really have this problem. 

These are just a few examples, flat off the top of my head. There are more that I've talked to many men about. Feminists often see men as the problem, see men - especially CIS white men - as having all the power, but really, they're victims of societal oppression and pressure as much as anyone. However when someone points this out, especially a woman, they get attacked, insulted, and harassed. In some cases their online accounts get hacked and shut down, and their personal information released such as their real name, phone number, and address, so they can be stalked and harassed offline. Instead of allowing opposing arguments, instead of allowing differing opinions, the general M.O. of feminism is censorship. No one is allowed to disagree with feminism without extreme repercussions, especially celebrities. They're bullied and harassed until they either apologize and withdraw their statements or do a sudden 180 and come out as feminists. 

The truth is, I'm not saying there aren't feminists that are genuinely pro-equality, that genuinely care about men's issues too. But ladies, you're a dying breed amongst the toxic, cancerous majority. I say ladies because amongst the majority of feminists, men cannot be feminists, they can only be allies of feminism. Do you see the problem with this? A movement that claims to be pro-equality that excludes an entire gender cannot be truly for equality.

This is usually the point in a conversation in which a feminist would whip out the dictionary definition of feminism, as if to say, "This is what the dictionary says(which, if you're using an actual dictionary it says it's a women's rights movement, not an equality movement, btw) and thus, you have to accept this as what the movement is about and completely ignore the actions of the movement that contradict it!" Well, funny thing about dictionary definitions. They don't mean shit when it comes to things like this if what the thing it's defining is doing something completely different. Communism, for instance, sounds nice in the dictionary. In practice? Not so much. Then you have the people who say you can't be racist against white people, just prejudice. Allow me to give you the definition of racism: "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based upon the belief that one's own race is superior." whereas a second definition more simplistically defines it as "racial prejudice or discrimination." Either way, it is very much possible to be racist toward white people, just as one can be racist toward any other color of skin. 

Feminism is growing more and more anti-male and anti-white, as though being white and being male are something to be ashamed of, something to be apologized for, and something one can control. Racism and sexism, and even misogyny are growing prevalent within the movement. Women who aren't feminists are bullied and attacked. They are treated as though they shouldn't have the right to their opinions. They are treated as though they shouldn't exist, or shouldn't be allowed to have a uterus. They are slandered and insulted, abused verbally and emotionally simply for being female and rejecting the label. That is misogyny through and through. 

The fact of the matter is, western feminism is wrapped up in so many first world problems it isn't even funny. Women in other countries, especially the Middle East and Africa, are dealing with problems like defending their families from terrorism, their daughters and themselves from gang rape. In some of these countries, fathers sell their young daughters after they've had their first periods to the man they get the best dowry from regardless of how he will treat her or how old he is so she can father his children, and in many cases after her first period, or, often, during, she's subjected to female genital mutilation, where her labia is cut off and her vagina is sewn shut to the size of a match stick and she is only able to painfully urinate one drop at a time through a mutilated urethra, often suffering multiple bladder and kidney infections throughout her lifetime because of this. Sex is extremely painful and childbirth more so. After birthing her child, her vagina is re-sewn to its match stick size to keep it tight for her husband. I use the term sewn loosely; in many areas, they puncture the skin with thorns and use plant material or homespun, thick thread to pull the skin tight. It isn't a surgical procedure in which we would know it here in our comfortable, safe world where we are protected from so many things we are so, so amazingly fortunate to not have to deal with and that we are safe from.

Yet here, women are bitching about "manspreading" while taking up 2-3 seats with themselves and their belongings. They're bitching about having to stand in line at public restrooms while men don't have to (could this be because men just use the bathroom and don't fix their makeup, hair, etc. while in there?) There are so many completely trivial issues that honestly do not matter that are being complained about that are 100% first world problems, and very few feminists care about global issues and care only about "issues" that bother only them. The "issues" I see women complaining about have nothing to do about rights and have everything to do with entitlement and infantilising women. 

To expand upon an earlier topic that I promised I would expand upon, the rights we women have have little to do with the suffragettes. First and foremost, these women were not feminists and would be outright appalled by modern feminism. These women were not one cohesive group working toward a common goal, but were multiple small groups or even individuals all working toward their own goals. Upper class women of their time already had more rights than many middle and lower class men; they could own property, they could get higher education, they could become physicians, teachers, etc. The reason they wanted more rights was because of the expansion of rights not only to those classes but to black people as well. They wanted to ensure they would have more rights than black men and women. Racism and classism heavily fueled their motives, and this has been well documented, and it's also hilariously easy to find quotes from these women of a strongly racist nature.

All of this plays into not only feminism today as what the movement conveniently leaves out or claims otherwise but its current trends echoing, in reverse, those of the suffragettes in the past. Instead of racism towards POC there is now racism toward white people. Now it has expanded even toward white people with disabilities, claiming that white people with disabilities are more powerful and have more rights and privileges than POC with disabilities, and how they figured that one is completely beyond me.

All of this has culminated in making me completely anti-feminist. I hadn't always been, but as I witnessed the growing toxicity, misandry, misogyny, and hypocrisy within the movement I disassociated. I refuse to associate myself with a movement that defines itself as being for equality yet seems intent on excluding others and taking away rights from them to give themselves more. Equality means all are equal. This seems to be "We want everyone to be equal, we just want to be a little more equal than everyone else."

I am and will always be an egalitarian, and I will always seek to help those whose voices aren't heard, whose rights are being infringed upon, and who both need and, most importantly want my help. The world doesn't revolve around me, nor my uterus. It doesn't revolve around anyone's genitals, however we cannot ignore that people are being oppressed because of the genitals they were born with. Taking from one and giving to another won't fix anything. Giving the same to everyone will. And most importantly, seeking to help those in countries where women are possessions, like cattle, and whose genitals are mutilated - and ceasing legal male mutilation here - is a step in the right direction.